Slippers and toys
June 1, 2013

slipperstoysSon: I can see my gorilla feet slippers on top of the wardrobe waiting to go in the loft! Will you give them to someone else?

Mum: I don’t know yet – maybe.

Son: We could sell them? We could take them to a shop and offer a pack for sale with the other toys that are in there and someone could buy it – isn’t that a great idea? We could take them to Tesco’s.

Mum: It’s a very good idea. Tesco’s wouldn’t be the right shop to take them to though, because it doesn’t sell second-hand things, only new things.

Son: I know, I’ve got a better idea! We could take the slippers to a slipper shop and the toys to Toys ‘R’ Us!

Mum: Good thinking, but those shops would still only sell new things. We could take them to a charity shop in Stony Stratford.

Son: What’s a charity shop?

Mum: They sell used things, and the money they get for selling them goes to different causes; there’s one for animals, –

Son: So animals get the money?

Mum: Well, the money pays for animals without a home to have food and a home. But there are other charity shops too, where the money gets used for other good reasons. Or we could post a message about them in an online shop called eBay, where we would get most of the money.

Son: Let’s do that, so I can have the money for my money box.

Mum: So YOU can have the money?!

Son: Yes… I’ll give you half if you like?

Fairy Liaison Officer
February 18, 2013

fairyliaisonD: Mum. Did you know – you can’t be a fairy.

Me: Why can’t I?

D: Because you’re too big – you have to be smaller than me to be a fairy.

Me: Oh – that’s a shame. I wanted to be a fairy.

D: Well, you might be able to be one – you need to talk to Auntie Vicky. She knows them. She told me the stories from when she was a little kid:
One day, Auntie Vicky didn’t know where the gravestone was – with her friend – every single day, so she wrote a letter to the fairies and the dog took the letter to the fairies and the fairies got the lawn mower out and mowed the grass and so Auntie Vicky and her friend followed the path and went straight to the grave – it was a really small grave. And you know how grass takes an extraORDINARILY long time to grow?

Me: Yes.

D: Well, the next day, it had all grown back – straight away!
Also, when she was little, she really wanted her toys to come to life, so she drawed hearts, coloured them in, and cut them out and put them in her toys. And in the middle of the night, when she was still a kid, she woke up, creeped down the stairs without her mother noticing, and all the toys had come to life, they could speak, they could move about – and she realized, it must have been the fairies that did this!
So, that’s why you have to ask Auntie Vicky about being a fairy.
So mum, one day, can I put paper hearts in all my toys?

Dog talk
November 19, 2012

D: There was something really funny that I saw in an advert. There was this trick – it was number 21. It was something that you put on the floor and then a mummy came along and saw it and told the dog off because it was a pretend poo! How funny is that? Because the dog didn’t know what she said and he just looked at her like, “Huh?’!

  • Joke 598 (thelaughinghousewife.wordpress.com)

Seven soldiers: #1 – Sleepy
September 24, 2012

Sleepy the Soldier – Sept 2012

D: He shoots his gun and then falls down onto the ground and goes to sleep because he’s Sleepy the Soldier.

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