Boy: What’s my password?
Mum: For what?
Boy: For downloading things?
Mum: You haven’t got a password for downloading things – you haven’t got any money.
Boy: I have!
Mum: OK, but not in a place where they can take it – they can’t reach your money box.
Boy: Oh no, they can’t. They’d have to have great big long arms like Mr Tickle’s coming out of the iPhone!
[On the school Fronter system, when a pop-up asks whether we want to allow an .exe file to run]
Mum: Do we want a program to run?
Boy: No! Press cancel! When you get a message like that, you HAVE to say ‘no’. Otherwise it will run – you know like the Coach tells us to run in PE?
Mum: Yes?
Boy: Well it will run like that – and that’s bad. DON’T let it run.
Son: I’m pretending that I’m a hamster drinking from a water tank! [Drinks through a straw from an upside-down smoothie carton]
I’m imagining that there’s another hamster and we’re fighting over the water tank. I run to my room and lock the door with a key. The other hamster doesn’t know I’ve got a key to lock the door, because I keep it in a drawer with bombs in it. And he wouldn’t be able to take the key out, because the bombs go off if they’re moved. And the other hamster can’t can’t lock or unlock doors because he hasn’t been trained like I have.
Mum: How was your trip to Whipsnade?
Son: Great! We watched the rhino in a special glass room. And the glass is stronger than the rhino thinks, because he bumped into it with his horn and it didn’t break. The room shook though, and all the people moved back!
Mum: I bet that was exciting wasn’t it?
Son: Not really, because the rhino farted. You know how farts can go through glass can’t they?
Mum: No.
Son: Well this fart could, and it was REALLY stinky!
D: Are you a REAL policeman? [To a hotel security guard, pointing at his badge]
D: How did you get the mouths OUT of the sharks? [To a sales lady, pointing at the shark jaws/teeth on sale in her shop]
iwantmarbles 