Building dreams
April 29, 2013

buildingdreamsSon: When are you going to get that cracked ceiling fixed?

Mum: I don’t know – it’s not very important at the moment.

Son: It is important – the crack might get bigger and bigger and then the roof might fall down.

Mum: What are you, a builder?

Son: No, silly – I can’t be a builder until I’m an adult. THEN I’m going to be a builder.

Mum: Oh good, you can build me a nice big house, with some lovely big rooms, a shop and somewhere to have a kids club. Then I could work there, and you could be there, too!

Son: No I couldn’t! I’d have to build more houses somewhere else for my job… I could come over at break time though.

Mum: Ah yes, of course – you’ll be all grown up and going to work.

Son: What if I come over in my break and you’re out, so the house is closed and I can’t get in?

Mum: You could have a key, so you can come and go as you want. Can you build me a swimming pool too? That would be nice.

Son: Well, I don’t think that would be a good idea. What if all the children came running out to go to the swimming pool and flattened me, rolled me out like a piece of paper, until all that was left was my hard hat?

Mum: I hadn’t thought of that.

Creating jobs
March 21, 2013

creatingjobsD: What does ‘redundant‘ mean?

Me: It means that someone’s job got taken away – that the place they work for says they don’t need that person any more. It’s not very nice.

D: Why isn’t it nice?

Me: Well, it’s not very nice to find out that someone thinks you’re not useful is it? One of my friends was made redundant twice in a very short space of time. She was made redundant once, then went to work for another company, then they took all her ideas and made her redundant again! It was a bit naughty of them really.

D: What did she do?

Me: She started up her own business.

D: That’s good – then, when the other people who made her redundant come and ask her for a job, she can say “No!”

Working differently
March 15, 2013

workingdiffD: When I grow up I want to be a postman.

Me: Do you? Why is that?

D: So I don’t have to go to work like you and my dad, and I’ll get to deliver all the letters.

Me: But being a postman IS going to work.

D: But I want to work differently.

Me: OK. How do you think postmen work differently?

D: Umm… They go to work and earn some money so they can go out an deliver all the letters afterwards?

Me: Delivering the letters IS what earns them money. Why don’t you want to go to work like me or your dad?

D: Because I don’t want to go there every day and sit in front of a computer every day and go “Uh, I’m so bored!” [rolls eyes]

Me: Is that what you think we both do? Don’t you think we do anything exciting?

D: Well, what else would there be that’s exciting that I could do?

Me: What would you WANT to do?

D: …They wouldn’t have this – I’d like to play Angry Birds!

Me: There ARE people who play Angry Birds and other games – not where I work – but at other places, where they build the games and have to test that they work.

D: THAT’S what I’d like to do! Play Angry Birds and test it!

Me: That would be a lot of time in front of a computer. When would you fit in your science experiments? Would you do Angry Birds some days and science experiments on other days?

D: Ah yes – I could be a scientist and play Angry Birds AFTER, when I get home from work! …I probably won’t be interested in Angry Birds when I’m VERY old ¬†will I? – When I’ve got a REALLY long, white beard…

Me: No, you’ll probably be interested in different things by then.

[Post-publish note: Angry Birds is now banned due to repetitive angry and obsessive behaviour whilst, and immediately after, playing!]

It’s not WHAT you do…
January 27, 2013

D: You told me to bring them down, and so, I thought it would be a good idea for them to slip down…

Domestic bonus scheme
January 13, 2013

domesticbonusD: Are we ever going to move house?

Me. Why do you ask that?

D: Just because I want to move house.

Me: Not at the moment. It costs lots and lots of money to move house and we haven’t got lots and lots of money.

D: So we won’t EVER move house?

Me: Well, if we run out of money one day, we might have to move to a much smaller house that costs less money to live in, and there might not be room for any toys!

D: Come upstairs.

Me: Why?

D: I want to give you some of my money, from my money box.

Me: That’s really kind of you, but I don’t want your money – we’re OK, we don’t have to move to a smaller house JUST yet! Thank you though.

D: But I want to give you some money!

Me: That’s lovely of you but no – don’t give me your money. I’ll tell you what – when you’re grown up, you can get a good job and earn lots of money and THEN you can give me some of your money!

D: Yes, because I’ll be rich! …Imagine if you have SO much money that it FILLS your house up, and you’re sitting in the dining room and all you can eat is money! And you go to find a toy, but they’re all buried in money and so you pull out the wrong toy and you can never find anything!

Me: That would be TOO much money wouldn’t it?!

D: Yes… I’ve got a plan!

Me: What, a career plan?!

D: Yes, I’ve got the goodest plan EVER about money!

Me: Go on.

D: You do a helpful job and, – where’s the 20p jar?

Me: In the kitchen.

D: You do a nice job for me, and I give you 20p from the jar!

A portfolio career
August 14, 2012

D: My tummy hurts – why?
Me: You could be hungry, or need the toilet, or you could be poorly.
D: I’m definitely not hungry, and I don’t need the toilet. I must be poorly!
Me: Oh dear, you’ll have to go to bed early and miss the kids disco.
D: Well my heart’s still going, and I’m feeling better now. I’m being a doctor.
Me: You make a good doctor.
D: I’m not a bug explorer any more, I’m half money-finder and half doctor – THIS half of my body is a money-finder and THIS half is a doctor. My arms are just normal… And my hands are just normal.

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