Domestic bonus scheme
January 13, 2013

domesticbonusD: Are we ever going to move house?

Me. Why do you ask that?

D: Just because I want to move house.

Me: Not at the moment. It costs lots and lots of money to move house and we haven’t got lots and lots of money.

D: So we won’t EVER move house?

Me: Well, if we run out of money one day, we might have to move to a much smaller house that costs less money to live in, and there might not be room for any toys!

D: Come upstairs.

Me: Why?

D: I want to give you some of my money, from my money box.

Me: That’s really kind of you, but I don’t want your money – we’re OK, we don’t have to move to a smaller house JUST yet! Thank you though.

D: But I want to give you some money!

Me: That’s lovely of you but no – don’t give me your money. I’ll tell you what – when you’re grown up, you can get a good job and earn lots of money and THEN you can give me some of your money!

D: Yes, because I’ll be rich! …Imagine if you have SO much money that it FILLS your house up, and you’re sitting in the dining room and all you can eat is money! And you go to find a toy, but they’re all buried in money and so you pull out the wrong toy and you can never find anything!

Me: That would be TOO much money wouldn’t it?!

D: Yes… I’ve got a plan!

Me: What, a career plan?!

D: Yes, I’ve got the goodest plan EVER about money!

Me: Go on.

D: You do a helpful job and, – where’s the 20p jar?

Me: In the kitchen.

D: You do a nice job for me, and I give you 20p from the jar!

Being good for Santa
November 20, 2012

Me: Hurry up and get dressed, Dylan!

D: You can’t control me y’know!

Me: Where have you got that from?

D: Well you can’t – are YOU my body?

Me: No, but your ears need to listen to what I’m saying and your brain needs to understand that if you’re naughty, Santa won’t bring you any presents.

Me: OK, let’s see if I get presents! I’m hurrying up now.

Special measures now in force
September 11, 2012

We’ve come to this mutually acceptable agreement.
D did try to confuse the matter by grabbing the pen and drawing beds and toilets and arrows in places they shouldn’t be, but I think we’ve managed to retain the essential messages.

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