iwantmarbles

Our funny cupboard – home to the humble cracker joke
– collection includes Christmas, Easter and Halloween cracker jokes –

Q: What would happen if pigs could fly?
A: Bacon would go up.

Q: What award goes to designers of door knockers?
A: A No Bell Prize.

Q: What do you call a blind dinosaur?
A: Do-you-think-he-saw-us.

Q: Where are the Andes?
A: On the end of your armies.

Q: How do bunnies stay healthy?
A: Eggsercise.

Q: What do cannibals eat at parties?
A: Swallow my leader.

Q: What do you call a cow that plays a guitar?
A: A moo-sician.

Q: What did Cinderella say when the chemist lost her photographs?
A: Someday my prints will come.

Q: What lies in a pram and wobbles?
A: A jelly baby.

Q: What do you call a man with custard in one ear and jelly in the other?
A: A trifle deaf.

Q: How did the soggy Easter Bunny dry himself?
A: With a hare dryer.

Q: What do ducks have for lunch?
A: Soup and quackers.

Q: What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?
A: A Pine-apple.

Q: Why was the rabbit rubbing his head?
A: Because he had an eggache.

Q: What did one egg say to the other?
A: Heard any good yolks lately?

Q: What’s the time when an elephant sits on your fence?
A: Time to buy a new fence.

Q: What is the biggest ant?
A: An elephant.