Ernie and his greens
August 11, 2016

Public Speaking Competition at School

D: Hello! Today I’m going to be talking about giant green sea turtles – and specifically one called Ernie [picture].

This amazing creature can live for up to 150 years – almost as old as your mum and dad!

Giant green sea turtles can be much much bigger than Ernie, who is about half as big as your car – and he is only 11!

Do you want to know why he’s called a GREEN sea turtle? Well, it’s because he eats lots of seaweed and greens – including brussel sprouts and broccoli – bleurgh! I don’t SEA (get it?) how he can eat those things. But, luckily (probably to take the taste away) he eats sea creatures like jelly fish. 

The reason why his species are greatly endangered is because they eat plastic bags like children eat fast food – because he mistakes this rubbish for jelly fish, floating on top of the water. It gets right into their guts and it takes ages to break down – as you’ll know from learning about the Great Pacific Garbage Patch. 

This makes the turtles think they are full, but they’re not getting any nutrition from the bags at all, so they die. And then….REST IN PEACE turtles [rip picture].

How to accessorize
August 16, 2012

Me: don’t put your head through the bag handle!
D: Why?
Me: Because if you get stuck or get the bag over your head, you won’t be able to breathe and then you’ll suffocate.
D: What’s suffocate?
Me: When you die because you can’t breathe.
D: What about scarves?
Me: Scarves are different. Scarves are OK.
D: is it OK to put the string around your neck when you’re playing a drum?
Me: Yes.
D: And is it OK to put a necklace around your neck?
Me: Yes.

No escape
August 7, 2012

Me: If you don’t hurry up, I’ll have to go to Crete without you!
D: No!
Me: Yes, that’s a good idea; it would be much easier for me – not as many bags to carry.
D: No! If you go without me, I’ll tell a policeman and then I’ll get on an aeroplane with the policeman and we’ll come to Crete and look all around and find you. And then the policeman will lock you up in jail!

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